how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You pole danced in your parka.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
