So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
