apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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