Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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