i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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