ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
