we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
