that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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