you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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