dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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