I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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