I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
