Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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