i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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