all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
