So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
