They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
