She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
