is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
