didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
