I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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