What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
