either way he was missing a nipple.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
