I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
