i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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