At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
