So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My penis needs a shock collar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
