Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
