whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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