I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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