I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
