how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
