Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this will be a night to untag.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
