She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
