I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
