brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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