no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize