I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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