dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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