My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
