I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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