i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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