Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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