and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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