Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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