Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
