dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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