Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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