You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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