this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We're too hungover to prance.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
