You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
