Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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