so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize