That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its about making memories worth repressing
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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