dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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