just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
