She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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