At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
