There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
