Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
