I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
