Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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