PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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