Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
