How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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