She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
