I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
